You appear to running an older version of your browser, which this application does not support and many features are not unavailable. We recommend viewing this site using the latest version of Google Chrome or Firefox.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. —   George Carlin   —
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. —   George Carlin   —
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because its much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs? —   George Carlin   —
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. —   George Carlin   —
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. —   George Carlin   —
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. —   George Carlin   —
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. —   George Carlin   —
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. —   George Carlin   —
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. —   George Carlin   —